Letters
a poem composed of short letters - apology letters, of words unsaid, resignation letters, love letters, bitter letters, friendship letters, just letters to different people
Dear M & P
Be guilt-free. You hurt. But because you were hurt. You didn't know any better. And you still don’t. Things could have been different. I hope they were. I wish your life was not this horrible. I hope there’s still hope. I am sorry I don’t like you. I wish I did but I don’t.
Dear S
I hate you with the core of my entire being. I do not give a fuck about you and will never do. I don’t care about you anymore.
Dear O & P
I am sorry. You had to see all that. Suffer all that. I am sorry I couldn’t protect you. I didn’t know how to. I love you with all my heart.
Dear Daddy
I miss your shaky round table and chand sitaare. I didn’t like you were a patriarch. But I love you. All my tears are of love.
Dear T
I have forgotten about you. It doesn’t affect me anymore.
Dear S
Every time I meet you, my liking for you comes back. I know we are friends and living different lives. You’ll always be the multiverse love I’d never have. Until the real love comes by.
Dear G
That phone call brought me back. You hype me up unnecessarily. Your validation at that time mattered.
Dear J
You are kind and your kind words always move me. Thank you for believing in me, even when I did not believe in myself.
Dear A
You are an asss. I hope you have become a better person. Ew. Just ew.
Dear K
I miss you terribly. Please resurface and tell me you are okay and not dead. I don’t know how to reach you. All my stalking skills are dead now.
Dear A & S
Thank you for existing. The world is a better place (for me at least) with you in it. I know you know how I feel about you.
Dear D, M, S, R, A
Thank you for pulling me out of it, being there for me and not letting me slip
Dear A
I am terribly sorry I micro analysed into convincing myself that you are toxic when you aren’t. I like you. I really do. And I am happy that you are a friend of mine. We could have been more but well, lol, it’s me. I can’t.
Dear K
You are smart. You are brilliant. But stop repressing. Go to therapy. You don’t need it but at the same time, you do. I like you but sometimes it seems you don’t care
Dear A
All my love for you is dead. Maybe I am not capable of loving anymore. Maybe I value myself more than your stupid immature ass. And please go to therapy.
Dear S
The way you treated me was horrible despite my addressing it multiple times. You gaslit me rather than taking any accountability and it sucks. I haven’t talked to you in a while because I don’t feel like it. You are out of my life without any conscious effort. You are just out of it.
Dear S
Do me a favour and get out of my head - please. What has become of me? I am so smart and sane and now? UGH! You need all the therapy in the world. I never imagined you’ll do this much damage to me.
Dear A
What you said to me was horrible. But I get it. People are people doing people things. I don’t blame you but I wish I didn’t hear all of that at that time in my life.
Dear A
You are a nice person but there’s a lot of work you require. Stop being such a narcissist. Give others some space.
Dear you know who you are
You are the light of my life. At different times, you were there. Giving me a reason to go by. Holding my hand at different moments. I hope I am the light for you as well, or at least were.
Dear me
I know it’s hard but you got this. You need a lot of work to do - to become a better person for others and yourself. Learn to be flexible. Learn to live without expectations. Stop letting people be people. You be you. Others deserve love but so do you. And stop blaming yourself for being such a mess. And worrying about everything and anything won’t lead you forward. Stop apologising for existing and claiming space. You own it. You deserve it.
To some of you
Well, that hurt. Should not have done that. That really friggin hurt at that time. But I guess it’s all part of the game. To the rest of you, I am sorry. I truly am. I wish I behaved differently or that I knew I was hurting you.
#Napowrimo #Day16